Only two months after Timmy and I were married, I had to undergo an emergency operation to remove a large cyst from my right ovary. The surgeon also had to remove one-third of the ovary. It took six weeks to recover.
Meanwhile, I began to have headaches every day. My family doctor, who was the same doctor that delivered me at birth, gave me a prescription for a narcotic to relieve the headaches. It helped somewhat for awhile.
Six months after the operation, I had yet another large ovarian cyst. This time it was on the left side, and again the surgeon had to remove one-third of my left ovary.
While I was recovering in the hospital, with Timmy by my side, the doctor calmly told us if we planned to have children, we should start trying now. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure I wanted children...someday, but we were still newlyweds, and I was barely eighteen years old. I kept thinking what if I can never conceive?
So after my six weeks recovery, again, we began monitoring my temperature everyday, and charting it on the graph that the doctor had given to me. If I had a rise in my temperature, that was suppose to indicate ovulation, the best time to conceive. Sometimes, I never had a temperature rise, which meant that I likely didn't ovulate that month. Finally I became pregnant! I was so excited. Now we will have a child. I told everyone I knew, including the regular customers at Dairy Queen. One week later, I miscarried. It was the worst feeling I had ever known. And since everyone knew I was pregnant, they'd make comments about when the baby was due, and what are we going to name it? It was excruciating to have to tell them "There is no baby."
The doctor said we couldn't try again for three months. That was the longest three months of my life!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Silent Pain
Now that Timmy and I were married, and living together in our own little house, we were so happy. We'd waited two years and seven months to get married, and honestly, to finally have sexual relations. We both were virgins when we married! Believe it or don't, but it's true!
I had quit my job at Dairy Queen, because I was to start a new job at the local funeral home. I began working there on the Monday after we got married. When I arrived, the manager, who hired me as the receptionist, informed me that he was leaving in three days to begin his own funeral service. I was devastated. He had been so kind to me, and was a very likable man. His name was Larry Dutton, and today he owns one of the most successful funeral homes in Wichita Falls, Texas.
A few days later, the new manager came.His name was Don Freeman. He seemed nice enough. However, he found fault in everything I did. Once he even showed me the proper way to place a postage stamp on an envelope! He was a complete perfectionist, and I began to wonder if I had made a terrible mistake by accepting this job.
Then one morning when I arrived to work, he told me that he didn't really need a receptionist anymore. He told me to go home, and the funeral home would continue to pay me for two weeks.
I left, driving in tears. I couldn't believe, I had just got fired!
Later I discovered that his wife had replaced me as the new receptionist!
I then went back to work at Dairy Queen and quickly worked my way up to assistant manager. I enjoyed working there, and I felt important, because I had so many responsibilities.
I actually got Sandy, my best friend at the time, a job there. We girls had a lot of good times at Dairy Queen.
While working there the first time, I met a gentleman, Gordon Cole. He was a customer who came through the drive-thru often, ordering the same thing every time. I'm not sure how it happened, but he and I quickly became friends. I would stand at the drive-thru window (if there were no one else in line), and we'd talk as long as we could. He was at least twenty years older than me and divorced. I remember when he would drive up to the drive-thru, all of my fellow employees/friends would say, "Kathy, your boyfriend's here!". I'd immediately go to the window to see him and talk to him. By this time, I was already engaged to Timmy, and Gordon knew it. However, that didn't stop either of us from becoming secret friends. I invited him to our wedding. He didn't go, but gave me a card with $100 bill inside. More about Gordon later.
This is just a few of the DQ girls. That's me front & center .
I had quit my job at Dairy Queen, because I was to start a new job at the local funeral home. I began working there on the Monday after we got married. When I arrived, the manager, who hired me as the receptionist, informed me that he was leaving in three days to begin his own funeral service. I was devastated. He had been so kind to me, and was a very likable man. His name was Larry Dutton, and today he owns one of the most successful funeral homes in Wichita Falls, Texas.
A few days later, the new manager came.His name was Don Freeman. He seemed nice enough. However, he found fault in everything I did. Once he even showed me the proper way to place a postage stamp on an envelope! He was a complete perfectionist, and I began to wonder if I had made a terrible mistake by accepting this job.
Then one morning when I arrived to work, he told me that he didn't really need a receptionist anymore. He told me to go home, and the funeral home would continue to pay me for two weeks.
I left, driving in tears. I couldn't believe, I had just got fired!
Later I discovered that his wife had replaced me as the new receptionist!
I then went back to work at Dairy Queen and quickly worked my way up to assistant manager. I enjoyed working there, and I felt important, because I had so many responsibilities.
I actually got Sandy, my best friend at the time, a job there. We girls had a lot of good times at Dairy Queen.
While working there the first time, I met a gentleman, Gordon Cole. He was a customer who came through the drive-thru often, ordering the same thing every time. I'm not sure how it happened, but he and I quickly became friends. I would stand at the drive-thru window (if there were no one else in line), and we'd talk as long as we could. He was at least twenty years older than me and divorced. I remember when he would drive up to the drive-thru, all of my fellow employees/friends would say, "Kathy, your boyfriend's here!". I'd immediately go to the window to see him and talk to him. By this time, I was already engaged to Timmy, and Gordon knew it. However, that didn't stop either of us from becoming secret friends. I invited him to our wedding. He didn't go, but gave me a card with $100 bill inside. More about Gordon later.
This is just a few of the DQ girls. That's me front & center .
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Silent Pain
THIS BLOG IS MEANT TO BE LIKE A DIARY, HOWEVER, IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE, IF YOU START READING THE NEWEST POST. THEREFORE, I RECOMMEND STARTING FROM THE OLDEST POST AND FOLLOWING ALONG TOWARD THE NEWEST POST. I THINK YOU"LL FIND IT QUITE INTERESTING, AND MORE INTERESTING THINGS TO COME IN MY LIFE OF "SILENT PAIN"!
I had a friend that worked with me at Dairy Queen. Her name was Cathy, too. She was older than I was, married with two small children. She once worked at a florist, so together, she and I made all of the floral items. Yes, with silk flowers. My colors were to be red and white. Among sending invitations, ordering the cake, choosing a gown, planning the music, and the reception, we somehow pulled it off, just in time for that August 23,1986 date, which is also my parents' wedding anniversary. I thought it turned out beautifully. My in-laws did go and even did their part with the rehearsal dinner! I'm sure that was the first time they had been in a Baptist Church. We had almost two-hundred guests in attendance!
We did receive some bad news the day before the wedding. My Great-Grandmother had passed away. She is the one who had been married for seventy-five years. My Great-Grandpa had already gone to be with Jesus. "Baugh", as we called her, is also the one who had made me the satin and lace-covered Brides' Bible, which I proudly carried it with my bouquet. We had to halt everything, and have a family discussion. Should we continue with the wedding? Everybody agreed that Baugh would most definitely want us to continue our celebration of love and joy with a wedding ceremony. It was difficult, but we kept remembering the fact that she was only thirteen when she married, and she and Grand-Dad made it through all of those years together. We had my cousin Dudley, to officiate the wedding. He was the pastor of a Baptist Church in Oklahoma. The most important song for us, that was sung during the ceremony, was "Nobody Loves Me Like You Do". That was and still is, our song. The reception was just as beautiful.
Timmy and I never went to any prom. We were already engaged, and needed to save our money. We paid for approximately seventy-five percent of the entire wedding, including the girls' dresses and the mens' tuxedos. Our parents didn't have a lot of money, and I had always wanted a church wedding. We had little money left for a honeymoon, which was alright. We had planned to drive three hours to Oklahoma City and stay there for a few days. However, when "Baugh" passed away, I wanted to get back for her funeral. We decided to stay one night in Lawton, Oklahoma, which was only forty-five minutes away. Therefore, we really never had a honeymoon. On our tenth and fifteenth wedding anniversary, we went back to that same hotel, staying overnight in the exact same room, where we had spent our wedding night. We laugh about being hungry after the wedding on our wedding night, so we stopped on the highway, went inside, and ate at McDonald's!
We made it back to see my beloved Great-Grandma laid to rest, beside her husband, to whom she was married for more than seventy-five years of her life. All I could think was how she was now reunited with my Great-Grandfather. That brought me joy that masked the pain of losing her.
Me, Timmy, my parents, and my three brothers (Don, Tim, & Terry) August 23,1986
I had a friend that worked with me at Dairy Queen. Her name was Cathy, too. She was older than I was, married with two small children. She once worked at a florist, so together, she and I made all of the floral items. Yes, with silk flowers. My colors were to be red and white. Among sending invitations, ordering the cake, choosing a gown, planning the music, and the reception, we somehow pulled it off, just in time for that August 23,1986 date, which is also my parents' wedding anniversary. I thought it turned out beautifully. My in-laws did go and even did their part with the rehearsal dinner! I'm sure that was the first time they had been in a Baptist Church. We had almost two-hundred guests in attendance!
We did receive some bad news the day before the wedding. My Great-Grandmother had passed away. She is the one who had been married for seventy-five years. My Great-Grandpa had already gone to be with Jesus. "Baugh", as we called her, is also the one who had made me the satin and lace-covered Brides' Bible, which I proudly carried it with my bouquet. We had to halt everything, and have a family discussion. Should we continue with the wedding? Everybody agreed that Baugh would most definitely want us to continue our celebration of love and joy with a wedding ceremony. It was difficult, but we kept remembering the fact that she was only thirteen when she married, and she and Grand-Dad made it through all of those years together. We had my cousin Dudley, to officiate the wedding. He was the pastor of a Baptist Church in Oklahoma. The most important song for us, that was sung during the ceremony, was "Nobody Loves Me Like You Do". That was and still is, our song. The reception was just as beautiful.
Timmy and I never went to any prom. We were already engaged, and needed to save our money. We paid for approximately seventy-five percent of the entire wedding, including the girls' dresses and the mens' tuxedos. Our parents didn't have a lot of money, and I had always wanted a church wedding. We had little money left for a honeymoon, which was alright. We had planned to drive three hours to Oklahoma City and stay there for a few days. However, when "Baugh" passed away, I wanted to get back for her funeral. We decided to stay one night in Lawton, Oklahoma, which was only forty-five minutes away. Therefore, we really never had a honeymoon. On our tenth and fifteenth wedding anniversary, we went back to that same hotel, staying overnight in the exact same room, where we had spent our wedding night. We laugh about being hungry after the wedding on our wedding night, so we stopped on the highway, went inside, and ate at McDonald's!
We made it back to see my beloved Great-Grandma laid to rest, beside her husband, to whom she was married for more than seventy-five years of her life. All I could think was how she was now reunited with my Great-Grandfather. That brought me joy that masked the pain of losing her.
Silent pain
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Silent Pan
I'm not saying I don't love my in-laws. I do. Without them, there would be no Timmy. Without their decision to move to my hometown, Timmy and I would have never found our "soul mates" in one another.
There have been times throughout the years when they, especially Kay, have been good to me. I believe we have agreed not to discuss religion or Politics. If we can manage to do that, we seem to get along alright. They're still an odd couple though. I can't, for the life of me, understand how they raised a son, who is so totally opposite from them, but I'm glad they did!
Referring back to our wedding engagement, Timmy had a steady job at Coke, and I had just finished high school and was working a lot of hours at the local Dairy Queen (which is now a mexican restaurant). I was seventeen, and he was nineteen. We were so in love. My curfew was STILL ten o'clock! Timmy was allowed to come inside after ten, but I had to be home and in the house by ten.
We had already decided to purchase a mobile home, place it on the one acre that my parents gave me. Out in the country, one had to also dig a water well, place a pump on it (which was electrical), and build a insulated pump house for it. We found a older model, one-owner mobile home, that looked quite nice on the inside. We bought it, using the bank for a loan, and purchased it. By early June 1986, all was ready to go, water well and all. Timmy moved in. I was never allowed to be inside the house alone with Timmy. Some days I would go, just to clean the house, while Timmy was at work. My oldest brother, wife, and four children lived in a double-wide mobile home in the acre right next to us. On the other side of his family, lived my middle brother, who was married to Timmy's sister (and still is). He initially placed a mobile home on his acre, and then built a home later on. At the time, they had one little girl. On the other side of us, was just pasture or farming land. It actually belonged to my youngest brother, but he was always working out-of-state for the IRS. It has been impossible for he and his family to live here. He is currently a district manager in Kansas.
My mother never talked to me about female subjects. She never talked to me about shaving my legs, starting my period, or SEX. I remember being approximately eleven years old, and praying that God would somehow give me the courage to tell my Mama. Whenever I was twelve, I started my first period. My first period came and went, and I never told her. I know this sounds grotesque, but during that first period, I used washcloths, instead of pads, and then threw them away, deep inside the garbage can, so no one would find them. She was already post-menopausal by this time.
Great! I couldn't get the courage up to tell her that I had started my first period. How will I tell her, whenever the second one starts? I suppose it was a few weeks later, and when she came to awaken me for school, I was having horrible pelvic/abdominal pain. She told me to go to the bathroom and wipe with toilet paper, and see if there is any blood on the toilet paper or my on my underwear. She told me that I may be trying to start my first period. I went into the bathroom and did what I was instructed. There was some blood on the tissue paper. From outside the bathroom door, she simply said, "well?". I simply replied, "yes". That's all I had to say. God was listening to that repetitive prayer after all!
Mama went to the store, and purchased the necessary products.
As far as shaving my legs, I was in the 6th grade, and all the girls were shaving thier legs. We use to talk about it in gym class. One day I used my Daddy's can of shaving creme and his razor, and learning by mistakes, I began shaving my legs from then on. I was always afraid to ask my Mama anything, even something as simple as "When can I start shaving my legs?"
Sex was a subject which we never discussed. The only vaguely discussed sex with me one time. Timmy and I were four months away from becoming husband and wife. She came in my room, and said something like this "I know you and Timmy love each other very much, as long as you two have been dating, it's hard to just kiss and hold hands. A boy has special needs, too. So if you two ever decide you can't wait any longer, come to me and Daddy, so you can married first". That was the extent my conversation with my Mama regarding sex!
In June we went to my parents, asking if we could get married sooner than October 17th. My Daddy said he'd have to think about it. Afterall, months earlier, when Timmy had asked for my hand in marriage, Timmy told us the wedding would be on October 17th. A couple of days went by, and my Daddy still didn't give us a reply, so I did something I never dreamed I would do. I went to my Mama, reminded her of our conversation, our only conversation about sex. I told her that we couldn't wait until October. I also told her that we'd like to marry on their anniversary, which would be August 23, 1986. After talking to my Daddy, he finally agreed. I think, privately, he didn't want to let go of his little girl...ever. He has often said that walking me down the aisle and giving my hand to someone else, was the saddest day of his life. He's had many sad days, too. Now I had sixty-three days to plan our wedding. There was really no good reason to wait until October. Timmy had the house all ready to go. He had a good job, and I was making a fair income as Assistant Manager at Dairy Queen. I had no plans to attend college. I just wanted to marry Timmy.
Our very first house. We made it into a home.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Silent Pan
I've already mentioned the fact that Timmy's parents didn't like me. Well, his mother really didn't like me after a tragic incident! It was a Saturday, and Timmy and I were in his bedroom studying. He was still a senior in high school, and we had Algebra class together The add-ons to his parents' house was constructed so the laundry room was on the other side of his bedroom, and in the laundry room was the back door, which lead to the back yard.
Well, they had a Dachshund, named Duke. There are more photos of that dog than there are of anything else. That dog was their baby. He was spoiled rotten. On this particular day, as Timmy and I worked on our homework, Duke came running through the bedroom, to the back door. Since I was closest to the door, I asked Timmy, "Do you want me to let him out?" He said, "Yes". They had a fenced in back yard, so we thought nothing of letting Duke outside. After all, that's where he spent a lot of his time. It wasn't five minutes later, when we heard tires squeal in the street in front of their house. Timmy's parents were working on a project in the back yard. They needed to leave the gate open, so they could go in and out and into the garage. We didn't know this. We didn't know not to open the gate! Duke had been hit by a car. He was still alive, but hurt badly. Timmy carried him inside, while his mother called the veterinarian's office. Although it was a Saturday, she agreed to meet us and Duke, at her office. The entire time, his mother was cursing and yelling. I remember her asking, "Who let the G-d Damn dog out?" I could only reply, "I did ". When we got to the vet's office, Timmy laid Duke on the table, turned, and began cry. He loved that dog, too. He also felt responsible for letting Duke outside. Later that day, Duke died. You'd have though Kay's own mother had passed away! However, I later felt their pain.
I know how it feels to lose a pet. Since then I had a cat (I'm a HUGE cat lover!). Her name was "Sylvia". We got her when she was a kitten, she was indoor only. She died of throat cancer, when she was seventeen. Just like with Duke, it was one of the saddest days of my life. Since we lived in the country, we were allowed to take her body home from the vet, and bury her. We knew her time was almost up, so we had a wooden box all ready. It was engraved with her name. Timmy had dug a deep, large hole ahead of time. Because she always laid on my pillow, wrapped around my head, I laid that pillow inside of the box, and then laid Sylvia's lifeless body onto to the pillow. I even kissed her, just before Timmy nailed on that wooden box top. We made a grave with a Small picket fence, and white rock covering the ground where she lay. We even had a headstone, engraved with her name and dates, and her picture. I know people thought we were crazy, but she was part of our family, just as Duke was part of their family....and I'm the one who is actually responsible for his demise.
Above is a photo of my "Sylvie Girl". She was already getting ill .
Silent Pain
There was one big problem standing in the way of our relationship. Timmy's parents were Catholic. They raised both of the children in the Catholic faith. As I've mentioned, I was raised in a strict Ssouthern Baptist home. I had never even been inside any church that wasn't Baptist. If you'll recall, Timmy's older sister married my older brother, and she had joined the Baptist church. This had already set the stage for Timmy's parents, especially his mother. She had already lost her daughter to the Baptist denomination. Now her son was engaged to "the other" Baptist.
When Timmy and I began dating, I continually invited him to my church and youth activities at my church. (He wasn't even attending the Catholic church with his parents). He would always tell me "no". He knew his parents would get upset. Finally, before we were engaged, he began going with me to my church. His mother was furious! His parents never even knew about the night he accepted Christ into his heart or the Sunday that he was baptized, and officially joined my Southern Baptist Church.
His mother didn't like me from the beginning. She believed that the wife should follow her husband's beliefs.
There are some things that I agree with, that Catholics practice. I wasn't anti-Catholic, but I wasn't about to join the Catholic faith, although we worship the same God. We just do it differently.
Timmy's parents have never quite fit in here in Burkburnett,Texas. They were raised in Illinois. He was in the military and retired Civil Service, and I doubt they've ever voted for a Republican politician.
This is something I can't quite understand. If Catholics are so against abortion, why do they repeatedly vote for politicians who are pro-choice? Just a question that I often ponder.
If there's anybody in this world who needs to be taking an anti-depressant, it's Kay, Timmy's Mother. She is constantly complaining about something. When we have to see his parents, we're always wondering, "How will Mom be today?" Occasionally, she acts just fine. One just doesn't know what to expect while in her company. Timmy's Dad, Jimmy, has caused his son much heartache through out the years. More about that later. He is sixty-seven years old, but thinks he's still a teenager. He has survived throat cancer twice. He and Kay bought a Ford Mustang awhile back, but they had to trade it in, because they couldn't get in and out of it without having much difficulty. Then he's purchased and traded several motorcycles over the past few years. They are just odd people. They've done or said so many wierd things, I couldn't attempt to list them all.
When Timmy and I began dating, I continually invited him to my church and youth activities at my church. (He wasn't even attending the Catholic church with his parents). He would always tell me "no". He knew his parents would get upset. Finally, before we were engaged, he began going with me to my church. His mother was furious! His parents never even knew about the night he accepted Christ into his heart or the Sunday that he was baptized, and officially joined my Southern Baptist Church.
His mother didn't like me from the beginning. She believed that the wife should follow her husband's beliefs.
There are some things that I agree with, that Catholics practice. I wasn't anti-Catholic, but I wasn't about to join the Catholic faith, although we worship the same God. We just do it differently.
Timmy's parents have never quite fit in here in Burkburnett,Texas. They were raised in Illinois. He was in the military and retired Civil Service, and I doubt they've ever voted for a Republican politician.
This is something I can't quite understand. If Catholics are so against abortion, why do they repeatedly vote for politicians who are pro-choice? Just a question that I often ponder.
If there's anybody in this world who needs to be taking an anti-depressant, it's Kay, Timmy's Mother. She is constantly complaining about something. When we have to see his parents, we're always wondering, "How will Mom be today?" Occasionally, she acts just fine. One just doesn't know what to expect while in her company. Timmy's Dad, Jimmy, has caused his son much heartache through out the years. More about that later. He is sixty-seven years old, but thinks he's still a teenager. He has survived throat cancer twice. He and Kay bought a Ford Mustang awhile back, but they had to trade it in, because they couldn't get in and out of it without having much difficulty. Then he's purchased and traded several motorcycles over the past few years. They are just odd people. They've done or said so many wierd things, I couldn't attempt to list them all.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Silent Pain
After our first kiss, Timmy and I never spent one day without seeing one another. I became very ill with mono, and was hospitalized for five days. He drove his parents' car, a Ford LTD, every evening, to see me at the hospital. There's no way his old truck would have made the thirty minute drive and back. My biggest fear was him seeing me look so bad. I couldn't do my hair or make-up, and I just looked sick. That didn't seem to bother him. Every time he got ready to go home, he'd give me a kiss. To this day, I don't know how I got mono. Timmy never indicated any symptoms, and God knows he and I had kissed an awful lot lately.
In August of 1984, we'd been dating for only five months, but our love was already so strong, we couldn't bare spending even one day without seeing one another. My parents went to Colorodo, camping like we had done for years. With me only being fifteen and having a boyfriend, whom I was obviously crazy about, there was no way my parents were going to allow me to stay home, even with my older brother still at home. It was absolutely terrible! We missed each other so much! I actuall took change from my Mama's purse, just to call Timmy at the campgrounds where we stayed. Mama never said anything, but I think she knew it.
Timmy and I knew we would get married someday. It was just a known fact. There really wasn't some romantic proposal. We even went together to choose and purchase my bridal ring set. Twenty-five years later, we both wear the same rings. I never want anything more.
When I was sixteen, Timmy went to my parents' house, and asked my parents' for permission for us to get married. Timmy told them that we had set a date for October 17, which was eleven months away. My parents agreed, after my Daddy gave him a long lecture. I was working at Dairy Queen at the time. Timmy had fortunately landed a job at Coca-Cola, delivering sodas. He made "okay" money, but had full benefits.
I skipped my Junior year in high school, so we could get married. I had enough credits to do so.
I had a teacher, Mr.Lawson, who pleaded with me not to do this. He wanted me to continue with high school, take Senior English, and become a English teacher. He thought I was making a huge mistake. I was in love, engaged, and ready to get married, so I didn't listen to his advise. I don't regret not listening to him. However, I know he was just trying to give direction to one of his favorite students.
Just before my Senior year began, there was a terrible car accident. One of my best friend's sister, Terri Garner, was spending the night with our nearest neighbors, Kim Cozby. They escaped through Kim's bedroom window, and met two boys in a car. (Sounds familiar, huh?). They drove for about 3/4 mile toward town (We lived on a dead-end road), and ran a stop sign. Both of the girls, whom I knew well, perished in that awful accident. My friend Mike, who's sister was one of the two killed, called me in the middle of the night, as he frequently did. He told me that Terri was dead. With permission, I drove to Mike's house, where he lived with his grandparents. We sat in Terri's room for hours, talking and crying. He already had her Senior ring. She was to be a Senior that following year. Mike was wearing the ring on his little finger. When he was eight years-old, his father committed suicide, and soon after, Mike's mother was sent to a mental hospital out of state. She had lived there for years. Mike and his sister went to live with thier grandparents, who were Southern Baptist and very strict on the two children. Mike had often told me that his siter was really all that he had. A horrific accident took her away from, too! I don't know where Mike is today. I've only seen hm a couple of times, since we've been out of school. However, when I have seen him, he still has his sister's senior ring on his little finger.
I know it sounds "nerdy", but I was a member of the school choir during junior high and most of high school. Since I could play the piano better than our instructor, she often asked me to play during practice. Wow! Did I think I was special? Most of the other students didn't even know that I could play piano. I met many good friends during Choir. My closest choir buddy was Bobby Radke. I haven't seen him since high school and don't know where's living, what he's doing, etc.
I wasn't exactly an angel during my senior year of high school. Timmy had graduated, and was working for Coke. Once they knew Ken had moved away, I had Black guys all over me, even though I had a steady White" boyfriend, whom I was planning to marry. During Social Studies class, Sam James, a major player on our football team and a Senior, dropped me a note, asking me to go out with him. Sam James! Gosh! I couldn't believe Sam James wanted to go out with little, nobody, unpopular me. I wrote back, and told him that I couldn't.
One of my Senior Photos 1984
Preston King was another senior. He was also Black and came from a fine, upstanding family. His father was a minister. Preston played drums in the band and was very popular. I got to know him back when Ken was still here, and we were always friends. However, my senior year was different. Somewhere, somehow Preston and I developed a "crush" on one another. We were always together at school. he walked me to all of my classes and carried my books. We never held hands, etc. I was already engaged! I knew where Preston lived, so one day I stopped by (in my 1979 Mercury Zephyer). Preston came out. We talked for a few minutes. I couldn't let anyone see my car at a King's house. We told each other "good-bye", and then HE KISSED ME! That was the only time that Preston and I kissed. We contined on at school, as if nothing had happened. That very night, I broke down, and told Timmy what had happened! He was going to leave (we were at my house), but I begged and pleated for him to stay. I just kept appologizing. This will become a pattern for the remainder of my life, and every time, Timmy stayed with me. To this day, I don't know why he did.
In August of 1984, we'd been dating for only five months, but our love was already so strong, we couldn't bare spending even one day without seeing one another. My parents went to Colorodo, camping like we had done for years. With me only being fifteen and having a boyfriend, whom I was obviously crazy about, there was no way my parents were going to allow me to stay home, even with my older brother still at home. It was absolutely terrible! We missed each other so much! I actuall took change from my Mama's purse, just to call Timmy at the campgrounds where we stayed. Mama never said anything, but I think she knew it.
Timmy and I knew we would get married someday. It was just a known fact. There really wasn't some romantic proposal. We even went together to choose and purchase my bridal ring set. Twenty-five years later, we both wear the same rings. I never want anything more.
When I was sixteen, Timmy went to my parents' house, and asked my parents' for permission for us to get married. Timmy told them that we had set a date for October 17, which was eleven months away. My parents agreed, after my Daddy gave him a long lecture. I was working at Dairy Queen at the time. Timmy had fortunately landed a job at Coca-Cola, delivering sodas. He made "okay" money, but had full benefits.
I skipped my Junior year in high school, so we could get married. I had enough credits to do so.
I had a teacher, Mr.Lawson, who pleaded with me not to do this. He wanted me to continue with high school, take Senior English, and become a English teacher. He thought I was making a huge mistake. I was in love, engaged, and ready to get married, so I didn't listen to his advise. I don't regret not listening to him. However, I know he was just trying to give direction to one of his favorite students.
Just before my Senior year began, there was a terrible car accident. One of my best friend's sister, Terri Garner, was spending the night with our nearest neighbors, Kim Cozby. They escaped through Kim's bedroom window, and met two boys in a car. (Sounds familiar, huh?). They drove for about 3/4 mile toward town (We lived on a dead-end road), and ran a stop sign. Both of the girls, whom I knew well, perished in that awful accident. My friend Mike, who's sister was one of the two killed, called me in the middle of the night, as he frequently did. He told me that Terri was dead. With permission, I drove to Mike's house, where he lived with his grandparents. We sat in Terri's room for hours, talking and crying. He already had her Senior ring. She was to be a Senior that following year. Mike was wearing the ring on his little finger. When he was eight years-old, his father committed suicide, and soon after, Mike's mother was sent to a mental hospital out of state. She had lived there for years. Mike and his sister went to live with thier grandparents, who were Southern Baptist and very strict on the two children. Mike had often told me that his siter was really all that he had. A horrific accident took her away from, too! I don't know where Mike is today. I've only seen hm a couple of times, since we've been out of school. However, when I have seen him, he still has his sister's senior ring on his little finger.
I know it sounds "nerdy", but I was a member of the school choir during junior high and most of high school. Since I could play the piano better than our instructor, she often asked me to play during practice. Wow! Did I think I was special? Most of the other students didn't even know that I could play piano. I met many good friends during Choir. My closest choir buddy was Bobby Radke. I haven't seen him since high school and don't know where's living, what he's doing, etc.
I wasn't exactly an angel during my senior year of high school. Timmy had graduated, and was working for Coke. Once they knew Ken had moved away, I had Black guys all over me, even though I had a steady White" boyfriend, whom I was planning to marry. During Social Studies class, Sam James, a major player on our football team and a Senior, dropped me a note, asking me to go out with him. Sam James! Gosh! I couldn't believe Sam James wanted to go out with little, nobody, unpopular me. I wrote back, and told him that I couldn't.
One of my Senior Photos 1984
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